No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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