So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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