its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
