If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
