because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
