Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
