pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
