filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
