How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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