i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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