my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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