you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
