If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
