Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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