Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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