he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
