Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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