Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
