Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize