I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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