I need help removing her.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
