So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
