I'll bet she douches with gravy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize