She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
