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My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize