I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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