so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
