you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
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The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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