The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
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I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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