I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
