i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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