Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
