She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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