Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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