if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
