You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
