I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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