Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
