Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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