I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
