Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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