I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
