You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
