google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
