She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
