don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
They have beer where we have blood.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
