do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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