just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
