uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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