dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
