your parents love me but you hate me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
