Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
