Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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