we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
