At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
