Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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