Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
