I cockslap morals
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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