Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
