Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my shit smells like andre
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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