I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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