Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize