Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
