...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
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