your room smells of hookers.
And success
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Is it because I queefed?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
