this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
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why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
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I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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