booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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